Nature

How many times are we still? How often do we appreciate the small things? I was falling asleep standing up last night and I was trying to keep active so I would stay awake. I needed to be constantly active. I am often like that even when I am not in danger of falling down from exhaustion. I need to be constantly doing something or thinking about something. Zen Buddhism emphasizes staying still and trying to sense the world around us. As college students we put more trust in multi-tasking. We have so little time that is not going to be used in studying or sleeping that there is no time left for stillness. And often when I do have time to just be still without falling asleep, I feel it is wasted time. Yesterday I was walking from campus to my car. The sky was beautiful with a deep, deep cerulean sky and white clouds reflecting gold sun all over the sky. The mountains behind were lit and I was able to see all the rough ground and shrubbery on the mountains. It was the kind of beauty I have never been able to capture fully on film. If I take a picture it always seems to be a pale reflection of what I have seen. I have tried to manipulate the saturation and color levels. I have also made it a high dpi with digital or used a telescopic lens, but nothing ever really helps. I have so little time to really enjoy the beauty and majesty of nature except for walking to campus from where I parked and driving home from work in the morning. It really makes me wonder about the values we have been taught by our society. We learn that we need to work hard to succeed with the result that people are working as hard as they can. Seldom do we have time that we take to just ponder. Even when I am reading my scriptures I seldom leave time to think about what I am reading. Praying for me has become hurried as I have less and less time. I begin to wonder what I am planning after college. Will I be working as hard as I am now and will I ever have the time I want to enjoy the world around me. The last time I went camping I was 14 years old. By the end of high school I was skipping camping and other family trips to work or do school work. This Thanksgiving I worked and I caught up on school work. I just wish that I could go and spend time outside or go hiking. Maybe I will have time this Christmas break before I start getting ahead of my reading for next semester. In this busy world I keep putting simple things aside in order to 'get things done.' I wonder what I will remember more as I get older: what I got done or what I really experienced. Experiences take time and are not always necessary except for our souls and the development of keener insight and understanding.
This world is a creation and is full of beauty. I feel very ungrateful because I don't take the time to appreciate it more fully. The world is alive and as much a part of the creation and the plan of happiness as we are.