Directing

I am directing a short play for a theatre class. I have stage managed, run shows, and been an assistant director, but I have never actually directed a play. The responsibility doesn’t scare me and the fact that we are being graded doesn’t bother me. What is bothering me the most is putting my trust in the actors that are performing. We are performing on Friday and while they are coming along well in rehearsal, I am worried. They all have a tendency to laugh when kissing (yes there is kissing in the play). But we have a preview tomorrow for the TA and then one more rehearsal I will be at before Friday’s performance. Of course this week I also have a final dress rehearsal for the play I am acting in which opens on Friday at Provo Theatre Company. I’m only acting in that so I’m not nearly as worried. I am not the best at trusting people. In High School I would take over and do almost everything in any group projects I was involved in when I did not trust the other people in the group. I didn’t trust many of my classmates in High School. My group projects at BYU have been better since I trust the people more; but I still volunteered to be director of this play. I felt I had the most experience. But now in this project I am going to be giving all the control of it over to the actors. Before yesterday night’s rehearsal, this fact was scaring me. The rehearsal went well, but we didn’t have one of our actresses. I am stressing out just a little. I’m sure they will do the best they can. I hope they don’t screw up. But in the end I will have no control over what they do onstage. The performance is in their hands. I have never put something as important as a final grade in the hands of other people before.

This whole situation reminds me of the fact that Heavenly Father trusts us. I suppose our parents feel similar trepidation at watching their children move away and knowing that they will be nowhere near them if they need help. But Heavenly Father has put the power of agency in our hands. Even more than just agency he has given us the Gospel and with it the power to know where we are and what we are supposed to be doing. He knows that we will screw up, but he still trusts us to figure out what we should be doing. And he has given us the power to right our mistakes through the Atonement. He has put us down here on this vast stage with an outline of a plot and it is up to us to perform our lives. We have help, but in the end everything that really matters to us is in our hands. He helps us with direction, but it is up to us to follow that direction. It is up to each of us to earn that final grade.

I’ve told the actors everything they should do. I’ve told them to memorize lines and cues, project, and pick up the pace. I’ve told them where to go and which ways to turn, but as I watch them slowly improve, they are making each of the characters and the entire play uniquely their own. This would not be the same play without them. This wouldn’t be the same play without any one of the people involved. It is no longer just a play it is our performance. And tomorrow they will perform in front of our TA. I hope they don’t laugh and completely mess up the wonderful performance I’ve seen. I hope the same thing when they perform in front of 100+ people on Friday. But other than hope, pray and remind them again of everything they need to remember before they go on, there is nothing more I can do.